Hormonal Mom of All Boys

boy, n

Noise with dirt on it

 

 

I am the only female in my family of six!

Let that sink in a little bit. That’s a ratio of 5:1. And when we did have pets, they were both males as well.

I carried four of them inside of me until God saw fit to bring them into this world. Sometimes I look at my boys and shake my head because I wonder how we are all going to survive this intact and with all my mental faculties! Other times, I look at them and lift my head a little higher because I get to play a significant part in raising these boys of ours into men, husbands and fathers!

(And then I shake my head again because I wonder how we are all going to survive this!)

The other male in our family I get to call my “husband!” Thank God for his insight into the male species. He keeps me sane — most days! Talks me down from an emotional cliff and helps me to laugh when all I want to do is have a good cry!

Giff and I were inducted into this thing called parenthood with two babies–an answer to prayer! When I was pregnant with my twins, we went in to find out their gender. As I was leaving, my coworkers were all excited wondering what I was going to have. They asked me what I was hoping for, and I told them the usual: “I don’t care, but I just want them to be healthy!” I really did not care, but I knew we would be in over our heads if they were boys: We are not athletic. We aren’t into watching team sports. We aren’t into hunting or fishing either. It wasn’t until later on that I realized there is more to raising boys than sports and hunting or fishing.

There was no gender reveal party. No blue balloons escaping a sealed box. No blue frosting inside an otherwise white cake. There was just Giff and me, the ultrasound tech and two little boys who were not shy at telling us what gender they were. I went back to work after the appointment, and I must have had quite a look on my face because they all knew we were having two boys without me even saying a word.

You know that saying, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”?

Well, it’s a lie!

God usually gives you more than you can handle because He wants you to be dependent upon Him in everything. I have and still am depending on Him every moment of every day in raising these boys of ours. But let me tell ya…there are days I want to pull my hair out while curling up into a fetal position mumbling “Uncle!” because I just don’t get the male psyche.

As one mom of all boys to another, we need each other. Let’s link arms and do this thing! I can usually spot a mom of all boys a mile away. The following is a list of what it looks like to be an all-boy mom with all her fluctuating hormones — at least in my little corner of Camelot:

10. I breathe a heavy sigh after a long day and take a hot bath. I may or may not eat something yummy while in there from my secret stash! (Don’t judge!) Or I go see a movie by myself. Yes, you read that correctly. I go see movies by myself sometimes.

9. I cry when I realize I am washing clean clothes … again! (Some of them are even still folded!)

8. I go to Target for milk. I am there for a couple hours and come home with $40 worth of stuff … but no milk. I keep telling Giff we need to increase the amount in our grocery budget allocation.

7. I make my boys watch movies like Sarah, Plain and Tall and Love Comes Softly Series.

6. The contents of my purse include a Hot Wheels car, a stick in the shape of a gun and a cool rock to add to the already overflowing rock collection that has a difficult time staying in the box.

5. I cry because I have to discuss the proper way of doing dishes … again. I know one day their wives will thank me! Until then, I will beat this dead horse because it’s important.

4. At least one of my boys asks me once a month week, “Have you been crying?!” It doesn’t matter what the answer is; that’s where the conversation ends. (I don’t think boys like to talk about the “why” behind tears — at least not at these ages!)

3. I have to remind my younger two that just because they could go pee outside while we were hiking or camping, does not mean they can pull their pants down and go pee outside whenever they feel like it.

2. I have Clorox wipes in every bathroom! They are the best invention ever!

And the #1 way I can usually spot an all-boy mom a mile away is that chocolate is near and dear.

I had a Kit Kat that had melted while it was in my purse, and Giff told me to wait to eat it until we got home and I could put it in the freezer. But I couldn’t wait! He said it was a lack of self-control. I told him I was having a “magnesium low” and had to eat it right then!

Here’s to all the moms of boys, especially to those who only have boys! You are a great mom! You are doing your best, and your sons love you for it! They may not always know how to show it, but you are a rock to them. One day their wives will thank you for all the blood, sweat and tears you shed in raising them to be godly men, husbands and fathers–not to mention because you taught them the proper way to wash, dry and put away dishes.

• When you pick up the dirty socks they left in the family room……….pray for their wives.

• When you are cleaning the toilet and are reminded that one of them doesn’t have such good aim………. pray for their future.

• When you kiss them goodnight……….thank God for their “snips and snails and puppy dog tails.”

For those are the things little boys are made of.

……….AND SO MUCH MORE!

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