“Don’t Look at That!”

So I have been working for the past month, patiently waiting for my first paycheck so I could go buy some clothes. I have needed some new clothes for a while now, but we either didn’t have extra cash or I had extra pounds.

I have never been this heavy in my life! Did you hear me, people …….in my LIFE!!!

Anyway, Giff decided he wanted to”bless” me and take me shopping. I was excited to be able to get away with my man and to shop with him. We haven’t been shopping for ourselves in such a long time. We went to one store, and I found a bunch of clothes I liked. I wasn’t anticipating finding so many so I didn’t even grab a cart. But I carried about 5 pairs of pants and 7 shirts into that small fitting room where the curtain barely covered the opening of the door! (That should have been my first clue that the night was not going to go well!)

I grew more and more discouraged with each piece of clothing I discarded into the “don’t want” pile! Well, it’s not that I didn’t want them. It’s just that they didn’t want me! I suddenly became aware that the size I thought I was didn’t exist any longer. I left the dressing room with about 1/3 of what I went in with.I should have known my first mistake was eating before shopping for clothes. Why don’t I learn? (In my defense, I did only eat the “small” portion of pesto cavatappi at Noodles.) But I am also not so naive to think that I had to move up a size because I just ate an hour before I entered the fitting room. I have steadily gained weight for the past two years! Stress happens! Life gets busy and I let myself go!

But it’s time for me to take it off, so to speak! As I was in the dressing room agonizing over the sizes of clothes I was trying on, my husband was being a sweetheart and looking for some more clothes for me to try on! ………Ummmmm, yes that is very sweet, but it took me a whole minute to freak out that he was looking for clothes that he thought would fit me ….. and they did! So as a woman, I quickly did female algebra and came up with the equation — something similar to: If A is equal to B, and B is equal to C; then, A is also equal to C! Or something like that! Anyway, mine went something like: “If Giff is finding me clothes and the clothes fit; then, he must know what size I am!” I immediately wanted to bring the evening to a close because I was no longer in the mood to shop! My husband was looking at the numbers on the tags inside the clothes! How could he? I wanted to scream, “Don’t look at that!”

Hopefully, in a few short months, I will be able to go shopping again with my sweet husband who loves me just the way I am and feel good about buying clothes I like no matter what size they are! I am more than a number on a shirt to Giff! Wish me luck! I’ve done it before, and I can do it again!


PS: I might even get brave enough to post a before picture. Give myself a date by which to lose the extra weight and then post after pictures! We’ll see!